Ep. 78 - The Dance of Discipline and Creativity: Navigating Grief, Flow, and Self-Expression

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This episode is a special one. I sat down with the inspiring Roxanne Glaser— SuperdoodleGirl - artist, educator, and creator of whimsical nature-inspired doodles—to talk about what it really means to live a creative life.

We dive into some deeply personal and powerful topics, like how Roxanne used art to process profound grief after experiencing unimaginable loss and how her creative practice became a tool for healing and self-discovery. We talk about the challenges of having too many choices in creativity (I know I’ve felt that paralysis!) and how gentle self-discipline and limitations can actually set us free to create more authentically.

This conversation is packed with takeaways about building a sustainable creative practice, embracing the seasons of your life, and creating art for yourself—not for external validation.

I’ve also created something special for you to deepen the impact of this episode: the Creative Warrior Activation Sheet, a guided exercise to help you connect with your inner creative warrior and discover how to embrace your unique creative journey. It’s available exclusively for my Patreon supporters, and I can’t wait for you to try it out.

What You’ll Walk Away With:

• How creativity can be a tool for healing, meditation, and self-expression.

• Why creativity is often born from struggle and necessity.

• The surprising freedom that comes with setting limitations in your creative practice.

• The importance of daily practices—no matter how small—and how they can transform your creative life.

• Why loss can be a powerful clarifier for what matters most in art and life.

• How to let go of perfectionism and start creating for yourself.

• Why creativity evolves with the seasons of your life and how to embrace that process.

This episode is a beautiful reminder that we are all unique instruments in the creative process, and the magic happens when we honour that.

If you’ve been feeling stuck creatively or wondering how to start building a practice that supports you through life’s challenges, I’ve created something special for you. It’s called the Creative Warrior Activation Worksheet—a simple, powerful guide to help you tap into your creative courage, quiet your inner critic, and embrace the joy of creating for yourself. This exclusive resource is available to all my Patreon members. Sign up today to access it and start building your Creative Warrior muscle—you’ve got this, and I’m here to cheer you on

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT

 Hello, and welcome to another episode of the creative genius podcast. I'm your host, Kate Shepard, and I'm so glad you're here. And I'm so glad I'm here. I was in a little bit of a car accident last week.  I was driving my son to soccer with my daughter in the car and coming off the highway, we were rear ended out of nowhere.

 

It was a real shock to my system and it was, It's in retrospect, really fascinating to have an opportunity to watch myself navigate something like that. Got out of the car and, uh, was shaking and it was in a little bit of shock, didn't really know what to do.  The first thing I did was want to make sure the other driver was okay.

 

And he was the same  with me and with us.  From that perspective, it was a really beautiful experience. . And as I've continued to process it, I'm starting to see the strange little gifts that this experience have been bringing to me, the other driver.

 

Took immediate and full responsibility in the insurance process has been swift and supportive and , I've been given all kinds of access to body work and counseling to help me heal. , it comes at a time when actually I could probably use those things anyway. Yeah. And it struck  a number of times that it's possible that This is life's way of delivering me some things that I needed that didn't really have another way of getting them to me.

 

Sometimes what feels like a horrible disruption can carry blessings that we didn't expect. And this idea of finding gifts in struggle ties  really beautifully , into my conversation today with Roxanne Glaser, who's also known super doodle girl.  Roxanne is an incredible artist, yogi, and educator who loves to help people reconnect with their creativity, even in the midst of profound challenges like grief and loss.

 

She's very open with her experiences of losing her  beloved husband, and then, Shortly after that, unexpectedly, her sister, and then not long after that, she found herself rebuilding her life yet again, after a house fire tore through her world.  story is Is one of  resilience and resourcefulness, and she shares some really accessible wisdom on,  how she rebuilt her life and on how these experiences , led her to build inside of her, what she calls her creative warrior.

 

And she believes strongly it lives in each one of us as well.

 

We talk about how sometimes having access to every tool and every art supply is actually a way of resisting our creativity. And she talks about how she's a recovered art supply hoarding person, I think is how she called it. And , how limiting ourselves having fewer supplies to work with actually can lead to deeper discoveries and  a more authentic version of joy.

 

Before we dive into this truly beautiful conversation, I want to remind you  of a few beautiful things. Number one is pebble bellies. These special necklaces that I absolutely love making

 

That come from a really beautiful beach in British Columbia, where the orca whales have been traveling out of their way for thousands of years to rub their bellies on these perfectly beautiful black stones.  With the blessing of the local community, which I've had longstanding ties to for over 25 years now, I make a small collection of these every year. I don't have them all the time. And when I run out of them, I have to wait until I go back next summer for more. But I just made what I think is probably my  second last batch of them for 2024 and they're being added to my website daily.

 

So if you've been on the lookout for something really beautiful for yourself a talisman to connect you  to the earth, , and the ocean and the magic Of it all,  I'd love to invite you to check out that collection and to remind you that you do deserve to have little treats like that for yourself.

 

Also, PodClub is launching in the new year. This is going to be like BookClub, but for our podcast episodes. So each month we'll pick an episode from the past to delve into, and we'll come together in real time and explore some of the themes that we talked about in the episode. I'll be inviting past guests to come back and join us so we can actually ask them questions  and really mine the wisdom from these episodes for our own lives in a way where we're connecting with one another and building this community out loud.

 

I don't want you to miss that. So head over to kateshepardcreative. com and sign up for my newsletter  I'll be sending out instructions on where we'll be meeting and what to do and how to prepare.  

 

And if you've been enjoying the podcast, I'd love for you to join my Patreon. This is where you'll get bonus episodes, guided meditations, journal worksheets,

 

replays of workshops I've held in the past    and this week I was so inspired by Roxanne's comments about her creative warrior that  I've put together something really special. It's called the Creative Warrior Activation Worksheet, and it's a simple, powerful guide to help you tap into your creative courage, quiet your inner critic, and embrace the joy of creating just for you.

 

This is an exclusive resource that is available to all my Patreon members. You can sign up for it today, to do that, head over to patreon. com slash creative genius podcast.

 

 okay. With all that being said, let's dive into this beautiful conversation with Roxanne. 

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Roxanne: [00:00:00] I think the first thing I heard you talking about that resonated with me so much was that humanity is

 

Kate Shepherd: Mm hmm.

 

Roxanne: glitching. I remember that, like feeling that in my core. I'm so glad you started sharing

 

Kate Shepherd: Yeah, it was. Well, I've said this to people before. It was a choiceless choice. You know, when that voice comes, you can ignore it, but it's at your own peril because it'll just keep coming back for you you listen to it.

 

I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about you, like what your full time gig is these days so that our listeners can get a sense of who you are and what you do in the world as they're getting to know you in this conversation.

 

Roxanne: , I'm Roxanne Closser and online. You see me as super doodle girl, but as I tease people, I'm like, that's my superpower at nights in the evening. So, by day, I'm director of marketing and learning with a very small firm. So I do all kinds of, uh. The marketing, the branding, uh, teaching [00:01:00] and learning.

 

So if we have people that need to learn how to use video communication, or, uh, we've supported virtual conferences. So things like that. So I have a wide background I have before that I worked in education, and so I supported a large video network before the invention of Skype and just being able to do things like this.

 

So it was old school. Very hard to do. And so I've been doing video since 2000. So

 

Before that I was, uh, I worked in K 12 education as well. So I have a large background in education, in technology, and then, uh, All along the way, I have always found a way to be creative within whatever space with whatever tools I was given or I found in front of me.

 

Kate Shepherd: , when you look back to the family home that you grew up in and the people that you grew up with in that home, was creativity valued [00:02:00] thing in that environment? Mm hmm.

 

Roxanne: That is really, that's, what a great question that is. I grew up in a home with makers. So, my dad was a tinkerer who would keep everything like anything mechanical, like vacuum cleaners, uh, that would no longer work. He would keep them everything for the parts. And so he could literally take his little getting place and make whatever we needed.

 

So we grew up in a, uh, it was a very small community. Very rural and then my mother could, literally, , make anything baking, cooking, , sewing, whatever she would set her mind to, she would figure out how to do it and in the context of being in a rural location. So, we were about 1520 miles from the nearest town.

 

So, what that meant at the time now. , currently, like in Houston, when I visit Houston, everything's 20 minutes, , in the [00:03:00] city, but back then we just wouldn't run to town. So if we were making something or had a project and you didn't have something, you had to figure out how to make do so kind of like the Apollo and the bringing back the astronauts where they're like, this is what we have.

 

We've got to figure out how to use it. So I think that is literally in my DNA of like, okay. Okay. What tools do we have? What are we trying to do? Let's figure out a way to do it.

 

Kate Shepherd: I didn't grow up in that environment, but I grew up in my, well, in my twenties there wasn't the internet the way that there is now. There wasn't, it was just kind of getting going. just go onto Amazon and order whatever. paint roller just came into your mind or a pottery carving tool you thought you'd want to use tomorrow and it arrived on your doorstep the next day. And there certainly wasn't things like Michael's and like, it's changed a lot what we have access to, you know, even in the last 20, 25 years. How do you think That

 

affects [00:04:00] our creative flow for the, for the good or the bad?

 

Roxanne: One of the things that I've noticed in this past year, when my, my online courses started attracting a larger audience. And so I have these amazing women from all over the US, some in Canada, some in other countries that have joined me and probably the number 1 thing that we.

 

Battle and tapping into our creativity is the paralysis of choice. Right. And how having access to so much actually can manifest itself as procrastination or perfectionism , and the number one question I get asked on social media is always, what pen is that? What paper is that? What is that?

 

Because I think people think. And so they get caught up on getting the right tool because there's a segment of creatives that promote that of like, you have to have this fancy paper or [00:05:00] the special watercolor before you can get good quality practice. And I think we put off the work of creativity because we're like, well, I can't afford the really nice stuff. . You know, compared to my childhood where, you know, like, no, we're doing this project today. We've got to figure out a way and get to the, the business of doing your work.

 

And so one of the things that I've been, uh, I share with them running a creative meditative flow right now. And so a couple of the books that we referenced during that, uh, it's an eight week course. We just finished Sunday talking about, uh, Steven Pressfield's Uh, the war of art and the resistance. And so we were giving it a voice and shape and what does it look like?

 

And the Amazon cart definitely is a form of resistance we've identified.

 

Kate Shepherd: Well, I, I can, I can think of a load of times where I've had a Saturday afternoon ahead of me. Well, not, there are less and less of those days lately for me with small [00:06:00] kids, you know, there, I can think of times when I've had a block of free time in front of me and the creative energy flowing up and my instinct is to go to the art supply store rather than. you know, get scrappy with what I already have. And it brings me to this idea of as a necessary component to creativity and, and there's all kinds of ways that that story or that, that turns into myths, good and bad, you know, like the starving artist is one of them, not necessarily always true, but it is true that when we go through really difficult times, are prevented from having all the things that we need. It, it forces us to maybe dig deeper and access things in ourselves that we maybe didn't think we have. And it makes me want to ask you about how you lost your husband and your sister. these are , I imagine, profoundly difficult times of struggle and loss where was creativity for [00:07:00] you in those times? Did you initially turn to art in that period to navigate that?

 

Roxanne: The actual, cause you know, online, I'm super doodle girl, and we joke about that being my superpower of just doodling and creativity and that little nickname. Preceded the death of my husband and my sister, and it came about as a joke. It was a tech conference we were going to, and it was a women's conference and everybody had to share what their superpower was.

 

So we did a little presentation and I literally had this is how long ago it was. It was. I had the blog spot, the old. Blogger blog spot. That's a super doodle girl. So, so this seed had been planted long before I needed to tap into that superpower. And I can remember, uh, Ricky passed away in 2015 in September.

 

And it was, I was just, it was like, even now I can't even like, I'm going to bring words to it very much. Just, it was so just [00:08:00] intense and unlike anything that I experienced before and the quietness in the evenings was just almost, it was so it was palpable. And so I didn't know what to do with that. And I did attend a creative art retreat that fall.

 

Actually, maybe it was. About six weeks after he passed, I'd already booked it. And so I started connecting with other creative women in this whole world that I didn't know existed. And I took, uh, attended the first yoga class that I had attended since college. And it just quieted my heart. And so that would be like, I don't know what it was about that.

 

Like in that yoga practice to have that peace come over me. And so I came back after that camp and it kind of awakened this curiosity in me. And I was like, what? What [00:09:00] will be my to help me along? Because I was like, you know, the grief groups, I was going to the prayers that, you know, when you don't have words for prayer, just the, you know, broken hallelujah kind of concept of just I didn't know what to do.

 

And. I took a lettering class in, uh, the following spring in April, and so I started doing my creative practice that I now have every evening. I started it then and I would practice making letters. In the evenings, and so, by the time summer was coming around, I was like, okay, I could get up right. I wasn't just laying on the floor looking at the ceiling fan so much.

 

And that's when Brandy passed away unexpectedly. So she was 41 and Memorial Day weekend. I got a call that they'd found her dead and. Just like everything I thought was kind of coming together, then it just [00:10:00] broke apart again. And that what I can see now is that evening just practice and it was just like, I would make, I can remember making owes with the brush brush pen, you know, pressure and light pressure and light.

 

And so I could just focus on that outside my body. And then I was going to yoga classes twice a day. I'd go in the morning and then after work. And to just this quest for what could calm my mind. And it was that focusing on the pen was a form of like visual and physical meditation. What I know now is what I was, that's how I was using it.

 

And with no expectation, I wasn't trying to make a beautiful thing or this or that. I was just being in presence and just sitting with the pain.

 

Kate Shepherd: did things come through? I mean, I know there's a lot of nature elements in your work. It's very organic and flowy. And, and I w I wonder if, if same [00:11:00] time as you were, getting that calm and getting that soothing and getting that quiet and peace. Was there also something else happening?

 

Were there messages coming through in any of this? When you look at what came out in those, because a lot of times we think, Oh, doodle and we dismiss it. I, I'm amazed at how often we dismiss doodling. And actually it's a profound to me channel to a very deep part of ourselves. So I'm curious, like what were the things that were coming out and were there messages and symbols that had meaning for you?

 

Roxanne: What this is another, oh, I can tell you've done this for a while. These are fantastic questions I went back and looked at when I first started doing my journals in the form they take now.

 

And so it started about 2015. And so I did a deep dive in the, we call it the 2015 to 2018 edition and, it was, it was just a hot mess. Like, you can see just a, a visual. Like not knowing, just, just feeling [00:12:00] kind of buoyed about. And, but the other thing is there are some things that are now part of my like signature style that you would recognize as my work that were.

 

Little filaments and so they're like, yes, I will do dots. A lot of dots. The spirals were showing up. There are a couple of these weird little flowers that are have this little curly Q thing in them. They were showing up. There are always words tend to show up in some form and them and then the In the beginning there was no attachment to any type of color palette or style or anything like that, but you do see the themes and you would see joy the word joy would pop in or peace and.

 

It was so interesting , because I, I'm a very intuitive process type of artist that I, whatever it ends up looking like is not very important to me. And so that's what makes it very hard when I'm trying to [00:13:00] do a commission piece. Because I'm like, just following what happens and in the beginning, I just, you know, it was just letting it flow and the joy that would show up on the page.

 

It's so funny, Kate, because it was, it was almost like, that's what I was trying to, I'm not always a fan of the word manifest, but it was like, I wasn't feeling it inside, but it's what was coming out. Like, and so now I look at that and I'm like, wow, that's really interesting that you can feel so just, just broken.

 

And raw inside and these bright colors and this peacefulness. So two things can be true at the same time. Yes,

 

Kate Shepherd: I'm always fascinated with like, what is that inside of us that is okay with everything? there really is a part of us. That is okay we lose a partner, or a [00:14:00] child, or a home, or a job, or it, it, it, there's pain. I'm not saying that there's no pain, but there, there, there's this part of us that seems to be rooted in something so much bigger that really is just, still remains love all of that.

 

And it is okay, and seems to want to remind us of that in these different ways.

 

Roxanne: that I love the way you phrase that, like, it still remains love, like, at the core. And so, yes, you can be. You know, and I'm reminded of the, what is the scripture of, you know, in all things be grateful. And that, that kind of would strike me when I was really in a dark place. I'd just be like rebelling and just resisting.

 

And I'm like, how in the world? Um, and then kind of where I am now. And especially, you know, in 2022, on Christmas day, I had a house fire. So then it was almost like the universe saying, [00:15:00] so you think you've got this all figured out. So let's test it. And so here it comes again and. It was so fascinating to tap into a different version of my creativity, like from 2015 to 2022.

 

So those years, so, you know, what is that? Maybe six and a half years or so. It was, uh, training and training.

 

Kate Shepherd: Mm hmm.

 

Roxanne: You know, so it's like, it's almost like it knew it would be called to, I would need it much more. And, um, the aftermath of that fire, I, um, it was completely destabilizing in a different way. And so with that one, I, you know, cause I've been practicing yoga, I'm certified yoga instructor as well.

 

And I teach restorative yoga. And so just for myself in that, Trauma state again. So I knew I was [00:16:00] like, well, I need to reset my nervousness. How am I going to do that?

 

Kate Shepherd: hmm.

 

Roxanne: And so the things that

 

Kate Shepherd: hmm.

 

Roxanne: they wouldn't work, or they would work for just a little bit. And so in that aftermath, it was in the quiet time.

 

And I had, uh, I was actually away from home when it happened. So talk about limiting your supplies. I had my little travel kit. Of my travel watercolors and my favorite pens and a little small journal with me, , and some of the happiest sparkly handmade, , paints from an artist online and Juvie Wilson.

 

And, you know, I always give her a shout out because they brought so much joy to me. So, in the midst of this pain, where I'm just like, I don't know what to do having that. And things that I really loved and to just create with. And it was beautiful. The, , liminal space stuff that just popped out stuff that I didn't realize.

 

It was just a way for me to calm myself. And also one of the [00:17:00] things I did, because I love bringing words into my journals as people would text me kind things or send me little prayers, meditations. And so I would put it in my journals. So now I can

 

Kate Shepherd: that.

 

Roxanne: through and so you'll see the circles and the spirals and some things that began in 2015, just in these beautiful collections, you know, as they were kind of called up.

 

So picture my creativity is like a kind of like a warrior, like, whenever I need it, she's ready. She will help me out.

 

Kate Shepherd: Yeah, you said something really interesting a minute ago about, uh, when the house fire happened, you were able to tap into a different version of creativity. And I wondered if you could say a little bit more about that, like, what was different about her? What was different about what you had? inside versus maybe, you know, 10 years prior to that. How had it changed?

 

Roxanne: I think it's similar to finding your [00:18:00] voice when you started your podcast, you know, it's a different voice than you had in, you know, prior to.

 

Kate Shepherd: Right.

 

Roxanne: so for me, I have always, you know, , people would comment, Oh, you're so creative. And it's that, but I never truly felt it.

 

I always felt kind of less than, um, and then part of that was I'm a member of our, uh, Waco calligraphy guild here and I'm a hand lettering artist, so I don't have formal calligraphic training. So in that, in my mind, I'm like, Oh, well, I'm not really an artist. So, you know, so for those years where, yes, I was.

 

Being creative, I was developing my creative practice, but I didn't really feel like it had depth or strength or value. And then by the time I came to needing her after the fire, um, she was [00:19:00] strong. She had literally, I mean, it's just like a trained athlete because I had been, I do a lot of hundred day projects.

 

So I had built this creative muscle to where I didn't berate her. I was just like, Hey, I need some help here. She's like, I got you. And I do tell people, I'm like, it's not the only tool. It's one of my toolkit, but she was ready and we didn't have to overthink it. She just showed up.

 

Kate Shepherd: She just sprung into action because she knew what to do. What would you say for someone listening to this who might be feeling like you, that sounds really good. also feel like I, you know, have some creativity in there and I look back and when I was a kid and, you know, all that stuff. But maybe I haven't really built that muscle yet. do you think would be some, maybe the top three things that somebody could do starting today to just get that muscle going?

 

Roxanne: The three things I would say, and I'm going to use, [00:20:00] um, Words and experiences from my students that I've worked with, because, you know, one of the things I love, and I have some little D. I. Y. classes, but the ones I really like are the ones where we have two way interactive, because we hear our voices and we hear the stories.

 

So, the first thing I would tell someone who's like, yeah, I want to get started, but I'm not creating one of the things I often hear connected with that. I'll hear. Something along this line. I have a friend who's a real artist. I have a brother who has a master's in art history. He's a real artist. And, um, you know, I'm just not like that.

 

First thing I would say is you don't have to tell anyone what you're up to. And then don't listen. Don't show your work to them. Do it, keep it to yourself [00:21:00] and just start doing it. You don't have to broadcast it, just start doing it because it's for you. So I would say just start and don't listen to the real artists.

 

Don't listen to, I know that sounds kind of terrible in a way, but it is, it creates this self limiting narrative. And I have seen so many people who are, who find their way to be creative in their unique style. And it's amazing. And I see the joy and the peacefulness that it creates in them. Um, and so that would be the first thing I'm like, just kind of, you're going to hear all kinds of voices in your head, voices from other people.

 

Keep a little small thing. I would start with that. And then I would say just, I would, and it sounds so simple. I would say make stuff, try things out. And be okay with being uncomfortable, because when we try to do something new, it's scary. It feels [00:22:00] weird. It doesn't feel comforting. So when, if you're listening to me and you're like, Oh, Roxanne, that's what I want.

 

I want that flow, that meditative state. That's not where I started. That's where I am. And so when you start something, it's not where you end up. What would you tell someone? Like, you've, you've had this conversation with so many, many people, like, what would you tell them?

 

Kate Shepherd: Well, I ask because I go in and out of being able to connect with my creativity as well. And you and I find that really frustrating because I'm somebody who can remember My, a deep current of creativity running through me from the time I was really little. And I don't find it's consistently in my life.

 

I don't find that I, I mean, I have that muscle, but it's not always ready to go to the gym with me. Your first part of your answer, I was nodding, , because. Yeah, we, we're not doing it for other people. We, there is a tendency, especially in this world of social [00:23:00] media, and, even just if social media didn't exist.

 

I think, you know, I think of my, current climate of other moms on the block. And you kind of want to show each other what you're doing and what, what are you doing with your life and what successes are you having and, and we're very competitive by nature. And we also have this deep need for validation.

 

And so if we are embarking on a new Adventure or project or skill. I think the tendency is to want to show it so that we can get that validation. Like, oh, you're doing a great job. You should keep going when I think what you're saying is, you know, you're, you're, you're doing it for you and you don't need that external validation and just start.

 

And I think. I, I don't know if I would say anything different. I think that's probably the perfect place to start. So yeah, do you, I, but it does lead me to want to ask you in your, I mean, it sounds like you've developed, uh, some, you have some discipline around your [00:24:00] yoga and around your creative practice and it's a daily thing and you're very committed to it.

 

And I think those are, we talk about that comes up a lot in my interviews around discipline being so important. And a lot of people kind of. Bulk it that a little bit because creativity should be this flowy thing and come and go. And no, I mean, there is a huge value in discipline. so you've, it sounds like your container for it may be a little stronger than mine, maybe if this is the experience that I have with it versus what you do, but I do you have times when you just, if you can't find it, it feels hard to sit down and create.

 

You don't want to, you find your muse.

 

Roxanne: I, one of the, one of the frames I would add on to that is season of life, right? I don't have young kids.

 

Kate Shepherd: Mm

 

Roxanne: All right. So this is, I am here. My house currently is decorated. If you imagine a kindergarten classroom, but it's an art studio. So I have different tables set up. I've got these projects I'm working on.

 

Uh, so in the evening, like [00:25:00] literally, cause after the fact, I still don't have a couch yet. Kate. So just to, to, to be fully aware, so it's a work table, but you can see the TV there. So I've got all these, um, things set up. So season of life is 1 thing, and that is 100 percent because your pocket of practice is going to be different based on kind of what all your daily responsibilities are.

 

So that's the 1st thing. So when people like, oh, I want to create sounds like you do this. I want to do this. And I got a message 1 time from a new mom. She had a, like a 3 year old and a 2 month old. And she was like, I want to be. And I was like, no, you just created a human. That's your creativity right now.

 

You made a human. That's what you're doing. And I was like, just get the tiniest of little things and a little flair paper, mate. And just if you want have 5 minutes in between, do that your pocket of practice fits your life. But for me, and [00:26:00] this is 1 that I got a lot of questions about, I was doing some, uh, I do a presentation called the art of daily creativity and my style in my creative flow state is I sit down with my page.

 

And depending on what rules I've given myself, like the 100 day practice I did this year, I could only use 4 tools. So I had to be careful because I gave myself a paintbrush, but then only had 4 more. So. I give myself very strict limitations, but I would do it a hundred days in a row. So things like that.

 

And I know for me, that's what works. I have to have guidelines and regularity because I know for me, I've done this with, I'll do it with what I eat, with what I work out, with different habits I need. I have the personality that it's a slippery slope. Like if I skip a day, Then the day after that, I have to go through all of the cognitive load of [00:27:00] restarting my practice, basically, if I skip two days, then I'm kind of like, oh, so for me, it's I prioritize the little bit each day to where if the only thing I do is a little extra doodle in my morning gratitude journal.

 

That would count for me most nights. It's a relaxing. Like I said, I just open up and I have my paints. I have it out. So it's very easy for me to get into. And the part that was hard for me to explain to, um. That came up with my, uh, calligra friends, they were like, well, how do you not get so caught up that it doesn't wake your brain up instead of going to sleep?

 

They're like, no way I could do that. And then go to sleep. And what I explained to him is because it's, I'm very process driven, and I'm not worried about the product. That doesn't matter to me. So whatever happens on the page happens on the page. Sometimes I, you [00:28:00] know, get a blob and I have to turn it into something else.

 

But most, most of the time it's, by doing the work, that's when it kind of wakens, but that's just my personality as well. , I don't want to go to the gym, but I like get to the gym and my gym rule is 10 minutes. Then you can quit, but you've got to get in the car, go all the way over there. Get on the machine and then by that time, I'm like, well, I've already invested so much to get here.

 

Yeah.

 

Kate Shepherd: I

 

Roxanne: So, I mean, that's

 

Kate Shepherd: you're hitting on something that feels to me profoundly important because I also have the kind of mind where I'm amazing at sticking to my thing. I'm very competitive. I'm very task oriented. I can stick to stuff and have huge results, but then. a great example is, uh, I was doing intermittent fasting, uh, about two years ago and I was doing, and it was, my body transformed and I felt amazing and I had all this energy and I loved it.

 

I mean, it was good for me. It worked for me. wasn't hard. I enjoyed it. [00:29:00] And then I got COVID. I got really sick with COVID. Um, maybe I think this was like two, two years ago it knocked me out for, I'd say about three months. And of course, and the wisdom in me came in and said, okay, well listen, you're sick right now.

 

So we're going to be gentle. We're not fasting. We're going to eat when we need to eat. We're going to, right. Cause I'm not in the business of beating myself up to get a result. Like I want to be gentle with myself. But then this other little part comes in and watching all these parts in my mind comes in and when I start to feel better, it goes, well. we like having a little bit of food in the morning and isn't it nice to have it and it could, it could be food. It could be anything else. It could be a creative practice, but I feel

 

Roxanne: yes. Yes. Yeah.

 

Kate Shepherd: through usually an external circumstance from my practice, it is very hard for me to get going again. And. And I, I have struggled with that for most of my life with various different things, including [00:30:00] my creative practice. So when you just said what you said about how, even if it's one tiny little thing that you do related to your, tricking that part of your brain into thinking you didn't. Drop the ball.

 

You're still on the ball, even though really that was kind of a tiny contribution to your practice, right? The little you drew a circle with a ballpoint pen and your journal and called it your sketch for today But that part of you is satisfied that you're still on the track and then the next day you don't have to start all over Again, I actually feel like what what you just shared could be a profound or Reorientation to that problem

 

Roxanne: Right. It's a different way to be gentle with yourself. And that's where some people misunderstand. Cause they're like, Oh, are you, you know, a complete squish of like, you know, really everything has no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm kind of old school of like, we have a plan. We're going to execute the plan, but then.

 

Before you begin, and this is what I coach [00:31:00] people on the 100 day project. I'm like, what are your non negotiable is going to be? And so if you're going into it, and you know, you've got 3 weeks of travel in the midst of this, what's your plan for that? And I know we can deviate from it, but when we kind of think through it.

 

It ups our chance of accomplishing things because what I do believe is when you have effort and completion, that gives you motivation.

 

Kate Shepherd: hmm

 

Roxanne: in the effort, but you don't complete stuff, then you start to build that narrative. I just, I always quit.

 

I just, I'm no good. , so put in some effort, complete it, whatever. Completion looks like to you and then that gives you motivation because I've worked with, several of, they nicknamed themselves, the doodle posse that kind of came together that have done a lot of my courses this year and. It's been interesting to hear them talk about their practices and we call it a practice.

 

And I stole this from yoga because it's, we're, we're, we're just on the journey. Right? [00:32:00] And that's how you, you know, you really get good at something. You practice it. And even if you are at a high level of execution, you know, you see amazing people who are top of their fields, they're going to have coaches, they're going to have practice, they're having training.

 

, and so we kind of look at it that way of like, what are you doing now? Some of the ladies are like, well, I can only do an hour on the weekends. Great. And so they just kind of give themselves whatever their plan is in their space. But then what I'll hear from them is like, Hey, I figured out a way to add it here and here.

 

So it's like being gentle with it, um, and not putting too much pressure on your creativity. But just find out a way because I think it's, it really is, it's in us. It's something that's very innate and, uh, it can become dormant.

 

Kate Shepherd: Well, and also I think there's a part of us that doesn't really want to explore it because it's unknown and sometimes wanted to, it's wants to take us into, I would say the light, but you know, that's very [00:33:00] scary for that. This little part of us that wants us to sort of stay put. What you were just saying, I was thinking about, yeah, there's so many things that are good for us that we don't do. You know, we know that it's great when we eat healthy foods and lots of grains and on, you know, lots of water. We know this. We know it's good when we go to yoga. We know it's good when we're practicing, but I know for when I'm meditating regularly, my life starts to take on this like other worldly quality, but then I

 

Roxanne: Yes.

 

Kate Shepherd: it. Why do I stop doing it? And what can I do to notice that some, that the, that there are factors coming into play that I've seen before, the perfect storm that is going to make me stop doing it. And how can I keep myself on the rails?

 

Roxanne: Right. And that's that, um, that noticing. Cause that was sometime in the, one of the things that, um, Working with creativity is, I also notice it in my body, which kind of [00:34:00] is also noticing when the factors are coming to where, oh, this is when you tend to quit. Or this is when you tend to shift how your mindset is approaching things.

 

And I, that's, I guess that comes from the yoga practice as well, because I'm very, uh, noticing, like, how does fear react in my body? And then what does that. Uh, how does that manifest in my creative practice and decisions I make with that to where. It's scary and that's the one thing I do it like you said of like moving toward the light.

 

I've found some just, there's some trauma around creativity or even drawing letters or things from when, , people learn manuscript or, and we're chided. Their O's weren't correct or, you know, there's just so much around that to where I think you.

 

The framework, which sounds kind of scripted and wrote, but I think of it is [00:35:00] structured creativity. It's, it's comforting, you know, where your boundaries are, you know, how to play within it. And so that can be a path forward as well.

 

Kate Shepherd: What brings me back to where we were at the beginning of our conversation, where we were talking about, there's a. There's a certain freedom. was the phrase that came up in my mind when we were talking at the top of the show, the freedom by limitation, you know, when you're out there in a rural environment and you don't have access to every single thing that Amazon can drop on your doorstep, you are free because, this other part of you has to come online, that creative problem solving curiosity.

 

What if I put this here? Well, will this work? And Oh, look, that fits in there and it's not supposed to do that. And can't come online if you have access to everything. there is a real. beauty. And there really is a, um, to limiting, limiting ourselves.

 

Roxanne: Lately I've been drawn to a very limited color palette. [00:36:00] So most of the. Most of my teaching is around, , I found 3 markers that when you add water to them, they blend together and they can make all the secondary colors and they're joyful and bright. You know, I've got my 3 liquid watercolors that work.

 

I'm exploring with 3 colors of wash that will do the thing. And I love that so much , I'm past, and this is a post fire thing. I'm a recovered, art supply hoarding person. When you have to go through all that stuff and you're like, why do I have all this stuff and I'm not a minimalist, but I'm a pragmatist.

 

If I can do everything that brings me joy with three colors and learning how to mix them and put them together, I'm going to do that. And people are like, oh, have you seen this pan or that pan? I don't have that need to just explore, there's an infinite number of supplies that can come to you.

 

And for me, I'd rather be playing with my words and shapes in my journal than shopping on Amazon.

 

Kate Shepherd: But you did used to have that. [00:37:00] You did used to have that urge to buy all the different things. So

 

Roxanne: Yeah, yeah.

 

Kate Shepherd: how did you, was that the fire that kind of cured you of that? What was that process that got

 

Roxanne: It was the fire it was just something I kind of noticed afterwards because it was, uh, like I said, I was out of town on Christmas day, got a text that, I was like, wait, what? And so we got. Back and it was the funny, it was you talk about just it was the stories that came out the week after the fire.

 

It was stunning to see. I was like, there is something that was kind of protecting parts of my belongings that I still needed. And the ones like. I could let go of, uh, so the main fire was in the kitchen and there was a lot of water damage in the living room and the living room. There was a corner where I had, like, all of these behind me and a lot of art supplies.

 

And that's where I'd work in the evenings. The water came to the edge of the rug where that was sitting. [00:38:00] Not damaged. , I was like, wait, what? Another friend of mine who had a house fire, and she said what they did after they moved everything out and went through everything when they moved it into their new home. Everything had to come out of the boxes and I was like, that kind of stuck in my head.

 

And so the day they were packing everything up, I just kind of sat in a little bubble, little puddle and a chair drinking water and every now and then they would ask me something. But basically the default was pack everything. And then I would go through it later. And so for the two months after that, I went through every single thing.

 

I had every single thing I had. And so then I had to make a decision. Do I get rid of it? Was it? No longer good, throw it away. And so that just being kind of rigid. Cause I was like, I didn't want to do it, but I was like, I'm going to take this as an opportunity. And so, yeah, I gave away a lot of [00:39:00] supplies that had been hoarding.

 

Cause it was like, why am I keeping this stuff? Could, and the way I framed it was, yeah, I could keep it to have it just in case I need it. But the way I decided was, is. Should these things be with someone else who can use them now? Could they be bringing joy to someone else who would use them? I gave away a lot of stuff.

 

Kate Shepherd: So that's really

 

fascinating to me because you, you lost so much for those things. There is one personality type that might go, Oh my God, I better hold on to these things even tighter because it's everything that, that was saved for me. But your response was to come back at them and go, huh, maybe I didn't actually need all of this anyway. And it helped you focus more.

 

Roxanne: because there were these things that would happen and it, it would put into relief the, what was important and what [00:40:00] wasn't. And so for me, I was so grateful. I had all my journals. They were no water damage at all to any of them and then there were little Things that happened that week after where there would be a little voice, like one day, I was staying with a cousin about 2 hours away and I was so tired.

 

Kate and I got up that morning. I was like, I'm not going back to go through the house. You know, we've we've already packed everything up. We're done. And this little voice was like, you really need to go back. And I was like, I am too tired to go back voice. I'm going to have my coffee and I'm staying here.

 

So, and it just kept the thought kept coming. So I got in my car, drove back two hours and walk through this, the, the, it was a duplex where I'd been. And for the first time, I actually. We'd been coming and going through the front door, which is not how I generally had gone in. So this, this day, I came through the back [00:41:00] door and just the fire.

 

It was very emotional, the fire and all the damage. And I was like, what is it? Something is pulling me here. And so I start going through the drawers in the kitchen. Which we packed up friends and packed everything up there. Sure. Everything's out. And there was this one little drawer at the end near where my coffee pot pot had been.

 

And it was my little drawer where whenever I'd come and go from the being out, I would just put receipts and things in it. I opened up this drawer and it was full. It had been overlooked. And in the drawer was. My passport, my current passport, so the last time I had traveled when I'd come in, I just taken it out of my purse, must have just put it in there and thought, okay, I'm going to come back later and get it.

 

And when I pulled up in the drawer, I kind of was like, and when I held it, I've never had anything like this happen to me before I picked it up and it was just like this electrification. This feeling I could, and then just this calm [00:42:00] came over me.

 

It was like, okay.

 

Kate Shepherd: That's it.

 

Roxanne: And I have no idea what, what that was. It was, it was absolutely stunning. And I think seeing things like that to where it, I don't know how that works in with just like, I just don't need so much stuff. I, What I needed was what I had, I was creating with the, my little travel kit and I was still able to create without this big studio and all this stuff that I thought I needed.

 

What I have is very organized and I will. I will notice myself because, you know, when you're reformed from that, you're like, do you really need that type of paper? What are you doing with that? , and so now my rule is basically, , I have to use it up before I get new stuff.

 

Yeah.

 

Cause I'm like, [00:43:00] do I really need to test that out? And it, you know, every now and then I'll test something out, but overall. That part has, has calmed down so much of just like, what can I do with what I have? And I think that's something I really encourage people to do. I'm always like shop in your closet first.

 

I bet you've got a brush marker in there that will do this because you know, the other thing that comes up, Kate, is I think we confuse. The tool with the practice and, you know, you have to do your practice and then, you know, and then get into the tools. I know, and that some people will disagree with that.

 

They're like, you have to have good tools to get started. But if you think just because you have the same exact tools that a certain artist or certain creator has, your stuff's not going to look the same because you're uniquely you.

 

Kate Shepherd: You're the instrument.

 

Roxanne: have your fingerprint.

 

Kate Shepherd: really are the instrument where [00:44:00] it's moving through us. And I'm guilty of that. You know, I see amazing art and there's art that I can feel in my mind's eye. I can't see with my mind's eye, but I can feel it in my being, what I want to create and, and to see it in the world.

 

Sometimes I'll see another artist who's creating the thing that I feel I want to create, and it's almost like coming home, seeing that image, wow, they're doing the thing that I'm trying to do. And it must be the tool, because how, how come I haven't been able to do that? And I, I really am guilty of that.

 

But I do think, you know, it does come back to the practice. It comes back to the practice. So I just hear it time and time again.

 

Roxanne: Cause if you ever had the experience where you'll have the same tool as the artist or the, your teacher, you've got the same exact stuff, but then you're trying to replicate it and you might get it exactly. Maybe you want, but it's, it's always a little bit different, you know, and that's, I think that's, that's a good point.

 

Your creative part that wants it to be yours, [00:45:00] because that's the other longing. I hear from lots and lots of creatives that I work with if they want their own style, because they're like, well, I can copy any tutorial. I see. And so they do acknowledge there's the difference of when you're learning and you're copying.

 

Uh, a certain tutorial or a certain little project, but then when is it you just let your creative creativity run free and kind of your, , curiosity and you're exploring what comes out, you know, because we all have a point of view and we all have a different life story and that's going to, that's going to impact what you enjoy and what you create.

 

Kate Shepherd: We seem pretty universally scared of that moment where we leave the safety of technique. or a tutorial embark on our own true expression. That seems to be fairly universally terrifying. Why are we so scared of that?

 

Roxanne: Yes, completely terrifying. [00:46:00] And what do you think? Do you think it's part of our, how we're wired of, like, if you're isolated from the herd, that's a dangerous position to be in. And sometimes, you know, what is it? The little poppy thing of, like, you know, once you kind of stand up and say, this is me look at me, you know, those can be get it attracts attention.

 

And that's the scary.

 

Kate Shepherd: It's a survival thing. Yeah, it makes sense,

 

Roxanne: Mm hmm.

 

Kate Shepherd: kind of preserving the culture of the people that you're with, That you are a threat. You are in, and maybe, and maybe that is a survival thing, so we, we, we stay quiet or we don't, we don't express the weird thing, you know, in, in

 

Roxanne: But I

 

Kate Shepherd: to survive.

 

Roxanne: don't know, but I do at my core. I think that it really is. We are all put here with a unique way to [00:47:00] create and that when we create it has such a calming impact on us. And I think in some ways our modern society, especially, you know, our, You know, North America, I can speak U. S. Canadian of where we don't create as much as we're just on, you know, when I say create, yes, we can create digitally, but I think there's something different when you use your hands,

 

Kate Shepherd: Hmm.

 

Roxanne: and to create or to bake or to garden there.

 

So if you read the new, uh, the book, uh, your brain on art. Have you seen that one?

 

Kate Shepherd: Who's that?

 

Roxanne: Oh, goodness. My goodness. It's fantastic. It's a very, uh, a very broad definition of art. And they also look at, cause they're doing some brain imaging in the neuroesthetics and, uh, the, how beneficial it can be in both the create the making and the [00:48:00] beholding of art.

 

, they're finding some connections with longevity and, you know, some other things of how good it is for the brain.

 

But to build the culture around that, if like, and it's okay, and you can be, you don't have to be a professional. You can that was the quote that I always use from that book is basically of, like, it doesn't matter the quality of the art as long as you're making things, you know, so that's that's very comforting.

 

Kate Shepherd: it's interesting that the. Um, the, the instinct that we have to not be different and to not express anything that's abnormal or unusual and to try to use, and in order to do that, we try to use the same tools as the other people that are creating stuff that's already been vetted as acceptable by the masses because it's out there and people, other, other people like it. So if other

 

Roxanne: Right.

 

Kate Shepherd: I want to know what tool you use so I can make something that other people like. There's

 

Roxanne: Yes. Yes. Great.

 

Kate Shepherd: like. a, as a, as a consumer of art or as a receiver of [00:49:00] art, you know, a listener, a viewer, uh, whatever you want to call me as the, you know, the person receiving the art or observing the art. Some of the best art out there, I feel like, and when I say best, I mean the stuff that speaks to me or gives me that, inside. generally seems to be made by people who are using bent forks in pottery and, you know, weird, you know, um, construction tools or a piece of a carpet that they ripped off and they, for texture.

 

And we're not using things that we're all buying from the same. The stuff that speaks to me the most really seems to have that You know, it brings you back to the, to the, I imagine it was a farm where you grew up, but it brings me back to that rural setting where you, your dad's in the shed mixing with what he's got and making a beautiful solution to something. So it's weird. Sort of juxtaposition of these two things, like fit in, but also be totally different. And we

 

Roxanne: Oh, I love how you framed that because [00:50:00] sometimes people will ask, Oh, what paint is that? I like how that paint looked. And not going to lie, Kate, this is how the paint came to be. It was literally, I'd gotten attached to obsessed with some watercolor pencils that I used for everything.

 

But then, as they got shorter, I was like, oh, no, I'm going to be out of my 3, because you only buy 3. So I'm like, how can I maximize these? So I started collecting the, when I'd sharpen them, I would collect the little core. And like, just a little palette. So I had my palette and so I had my little red, yellow and blue, and I would collect it in there.

 

And then I just flood it with water because I'm like, it's water soluble. So maybe I can make paint out of it. And then I would add a little drop of like, some Ecoline liquid watercolor, just as it turned out fantastic. But that's what I try to share when, you know, when we're in our smaller creative groups that I work with, I'm like, just notice.

 

You know, without, and if you can [00:51:00] observe and notice and be curious, and that's part of the yoga practice, right? We're we're or meditation, right? You, you notice without attachment and just kind of be open to what's going to come up and I was like, just try it out. Because. It's paper, it's paint, it's, you know, it doesn't have to be your, your, you know, your life story.

 

This is just a, , exploration. But like you said earlier , it's. It's terrifying. It can be truly terrifying, but , I will try stuff. And I think that's the, that's the new version of my creativity. She used to not have that confidence. She would just be like, no, we don't want to mess up our yellow.

 

Our yellow has to, you know, in the, you've got to clean it out and keep it pure. And now she's like, oh, we'll see what happens.

 

Kate Shepherd: Hearing you and where you've gotten to with your creative practice, there is a little bit of, won't say envy, maybe I will say envy [00:52:00] because I kind of want to get to that point too where I don't care as much, you know, and there are certainly times when I don't, I find myself so often, I mean, I have probably five or six different watercolor journals started right now because I'll do like two pieces in them and they're both really quote unquote great. And then I'm like, Oh, I don't want to mess this one up. So I better start a new

 

Roxanne: Too much,

 

Kate Shepherd: Cause I'm going to start a new experiment that I don't want to. So I have all these like empty pages. Like it doesn't make any sense. And I watch myself doing it. I keep, what am I doing?

 

Roxanne: right? That's yeah, I totally get that. I've like the, the, uh, kind of societal and like that, that approval thing. Cause, oh, I made people. So there were several of my followers on Instagram during this past 100 day project. Cause I started out with a lot of blue and orange and colorful stuff. Well, then, um, I had a jar of [00:53:00] black liquid watercolor that just caught my eye and I was like, I wonder what's going to happen.

 

Kate, you have not seen so many people distraught when I would just like paint something and then flood it. I'd flood it with black watercolor and put stuff on top to see what would happen. And then, you know, I'd get my heat gun and blow. Oh my goodness. Like, I would get messages that are like, why are you ruining that?

 

You are, why do you have to cover everything in black? And, you know, and for me to, I quit trying to explain it because I'm like, I'm curious. I want to see what happens when and now I'm like, oh, okay. Because, you know, a lot of people, like, never use black watercolor. I'm like, well, there are some interesting things you can get if you use it in this way, you know, so that's the only way you find out is to do it.

 

But yeah, it will, if you're using black watercolor and you're kind of known for really happy, colorful, people don't like that,

 

Kate Shepherd: that you're free of that voice in yourself, because to [00:54:00] me those voices from the external world usually trigger you only when they're connected to a part of yourself that still believes that too. And so the fact that you're able to create this way now, and really you're just in, this wild partnership with your curiosity and you really are not attached to what happens and you're not trying to make anything beautiful.

 

And I see that's so amazing. And it, it is, a place I want to get to where I just don't care anymore to the point where even you've got people in the external world. Trying to voice that old idea and you're like, yeah, sorry. I can't explain it. Like you're so free of that idea.

 

I think that's so beautiful. What would you say that comes from? How did you get that? How did you get to that point where you didn't care anymore?

 

Roxanne: I honestly think it's like a function of age, you know, you get to a point where you're like, yeah, I, I'm not going to just worry so much what other people think. And after, you know, the journey through grief and through, you know, [00:55:00] the,

 

I got so focused on just what my art is and what my creativity is and they're really a partner with me. And it's to call me to soothe me. And then I started sharing that. And when I started sharing that last year of the creative meditative flow and kind of figuring out how I could share that. I mean, that's when people it's very resonating.

 

And I think that a, there's something about that, that when people see that, they're like, how do you do that? I want a little bit of that. I want to, you know, be a little freer in, in my creativity. And that's, you know, there is a misconception because when we talk a lot about flow state and my style is very organic and flow, uh, flowing like physically.

 

But. Flow state, you can also be very controlled in your art and in your line work and [00:56:00] achieve a flow state. So the, the flowing. So that's 1 of the things that we do, uh, that comes back into it. But, yeah, I just kind of grew into it. I think it's just that kind of maturation that, uh. Because the younger version of me was very concerned with what other people thought about it.

 

It takes me a very long time to do a finished piece. I did the cover of our calendar art this year. And that's what I explained to people, like, my creative flow is like, you know, 30 minutes or an hour, and I don't really care how it turns out. But then other times when I do care how my artwork turns out, if it's a published piece.

 

It's a lot of work.

 

Kate Shepherd: Mm

 

Roxanne: And so I try to make that clear to people as well. And that's a piece that, you know, I take feedback on. I really plan the color scheme and things like that. So they're different styles,

 

Kate Shepherd: there, it's could be from the same skill at its root, but you're using them in different ways. Same way you have, you know, a leg muscle. Sometimes you're using it for

 

Roxanne: Yeah.

 

Kate Shepherd: you're using it for running and sometimes you're using [00:57:00] it for whatever else.

 

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Roxanne: And that power of process art, people underestimate that because they're like, oh, you know, it should be more realistic. And, you know, you have to have a purpose and that sometimes it can just be purely just process and you're playing around and you're going to figure stuff out. And you're going to, if you continue showing up each day, it'll turn into something.

 

As long as you don't pressure it too much.

 

Kate Shepherd: I'm just wondering if you can think of a moment could actually help you with grief? , is there a moment that you remember being in your art going, Oh my gosh, like this is, this, this is actually not just art.

 

Roxanne: That moment actually came, I was in a grief group. I went to a group, it was called grief share. I met a good friend in the very 1st time we took it. It was kind of. Soon after Ricky had [00:58:00] passed and, uh, Gail and I would sit at the end and eat chocolate and not talk too much. We were still pretty sad and, uh, we actually went through it three times.

 

We would just finish one 16 week program. We were like, let's do it again. And I would, I would just take my pens and my markers and , I would take notes, in my workbook. The lesson one week was. The do the next thing, you know, when you're overwhelmed and you're going in circles, you just, you do the next thing.

 

And I did that. I did it just made it big letters and just kind of in my style and just bright colors and dots all around. And so I had to do the next thing. And then underneath, I put always with love. And so thinking about love to yourself or to others, I can remember. They would be like, oh, my gosh.

 

Yeah. Look at what she does. And then commenting. People were like, oh, that's interesting. That's how you process it. And I started to think, Oh, [00:59:00] that could be a thing. And so then what Gail and I grew into doing is we would, for a few years after we would be grief share fairies. And so I would like all my little doodles I would do, you know, if it's, I'd cut them up and we'd, you know, give little gifts to other people who were new into grief share.

 

And we'd do a little dinner forum with little things. And I was always making something with quotes and my new little hand lettering skills to practice. That's when I knew, , it could help me and also be a gift to others to help them, you know, as you mentioned earlier to in a different way of finding their light.

 

Because when you're in a dark place, you're you start to look for the light . And sometimes you can't even look for the light yet. But if the light shines near you, you know, when you're in a very dark place, it doesn't take much. You think of a really dark room. It takes 1 little match can just so it's those little pieces of light and just let it let it be that.

 

.

 

Kate Shepherd: Before I sit down with my guest, [01:00:00] I, um, I closed my eyes and I kind of, feel into you and your life story.

 

And even though I don't know the details, I just kind of try to feel it. And then I listen and there's almost like a list of, uh, that come through, like we want to know her backstory. We want to know what she struggles with. We want to know what her advice is. And so I asked you those things today and in all the different ways. And then I asked, to be given a word. for, uh, sort of as like a blessing for this conversation. And I have this little bowl of angel cards and I pull the word out of that. And I've done it. It was just a weird little random thing that I was led to do from the very beginning, first episode. the word that I pulled for our conversation today was harmony. I wish everybody could see your face when I just shared that with you. what made you make that face?

 

Roxanne: is truly, [01:01:00] I guess it connects to, you know, earlier in the conversation when I said resonance. And when I talked about the 1st time I heard 1 of your podcast episodes, where you were talking about this glitch in humanity, um, and said, always felt a bit of resonance there. And that's the, that's what I try to bring to the groups that I work with, because we continue.

 

Each group starting last year, this time, we'd come to the end and they would say, this is an amazing group. What are we going to do next? You know, and I was like, well, I'd put something else together for him. And then we would do that. And they would say, this is an amazing group. What do we do next? And I think that level of resonance.

 

I think that's just another harmony is another word for that.

 

That's incredible.

 

Kate Shepherd: And just, just to add a little bit more magic to that, the picture on this little card, . It's [01:02:00] like a little watercolor of three angels of different heights. One's really short. One's kind of medium height and one's sort of tall and they've all got this maybe choir music in front of them that they're holding. Just singing together. And I feel like so many of the things that we covered in our conversation today were just about how so much of this is relational.

 

So much of this is, you know, it is internal, but we're also doing it for each other and we need each other. And is a harmony. We have to find the harmony. Between our inner voice and our external voice, you know, there is this joy that wants to come up and out of us and into the world, no matter what's going on in our lives. And, feel like our job is to sort of steward that into the external world in a way where we're almost, like a warrior guarding the path for that creativity to come out so that it can come into the world and not worry about the tools and not worry about the mastery and [01:03:00] not worried about that, just so that the joy comes out. In order to do that, there has to be harmony in our, in our being, not just through our voices, but there has to be harmony in our being to let that out. So I don't, it just felt like the perfect word for this conversation.

 

Roxanne: That's awesome. What a beautiful practice. I love that

 

Kate Shepherd: I love it too. Never surprised, like I'm never, I'm not surprised anymore. I used to be like, wow, that's the perfect word for the conversation that we had. And I always shared at the end, I never shared at the beginning. And it always ends up being like, that was, we didn't pick that word. That came from somewhere.

 

Like, it's always perfect. And then the last question I want to ask, and I ask this question at the end of the, of every episode is the billboard question. So, I think you know what it is, but I'll just repeat it for any new listeners just joining us today. And hello, by the way, if you're just joining us today, we're so happy that you're here. knowing what you know about all the ways that we, particularly as women, but not only women, but particularly as women, shove [01:04:00] down our creative knowing. Shove down our intuition and our, and our, you know, I'm thinking about that person that you talked about, the student that you had who was like, well, I have a brother who's a great artist, you know, all the ways that we don't own that for ourselves. And thinking about the people who are limited by those limiting beliefs, but who also experienced this yearning to express. this creativity, this joy. If you had a magical billboard and you could, whatever you were going to put on this magical billboard would somehow have the power to reach in to the heart of that person who is doubting themselves spark something in them that would allow them to see that actually it does exist in them. What would you put on that billboard?

 

Roxanne: this one. I'm thinking about this. I'm like, what would I do? And as I drove around looking at billboards, I was like, well, we can't have too many words on it. Okay. For [01:05:00] maximum impact. And we drive very fast down here in Texas. So big words. Big words. So I'm going to tell you what I'll put on the billboard and then I'll tell you why.

 

Kate Shepherd: Okay.

 

Roxanne: on the literal billboard, it would simply say, make something.

 

Kate Shepherd: Hmm.

 

Roxanne: That's what I'd put on the billboard because I have a bias toward action. And this roomy quote really sums it up for me. As you start to walk the way, The way appears. And I think that's what we do is just to make something to get started.

  I am so inspired by Roxanne's story and her wisdom and her tenacity and her willingness to really feel everything that has been put in front of her  with compassion and love and trust.

And always coming back to her creative practice knowing that that would hold her.  If you take one thing from this episode today, I hope, it's that you feel encouraged and inspired in whatever way that means to you. Maybe it's a hundred day project. Maybe it's a practice that you commit to every day this year, but I hope that you feel encouraged and inspired to nurture your own creative warrior. So that she's out there ready for you when you need her.

If you loved this episode, here are a few ways to keep the inspiration going. Join the Patreon. You can join today for access to exclusive content, creative tools, meditations, past workshops, bonus episodes. Journal worksheets. 

There's just so much in there. Plus when you join, you'll be supporting the show. So I can keep creating episodes like this one for you  and make sure you head over to KateShepardCreative. com and look for information about PodClub. That'll be starting in the new year. You'll want to sign up for my newsletter, while you're there so that you'll get a notification when it's time to join and when we're going to be having our first meeting.  Very excited to gather us together in real time to dive into some of the amazingness that is in these episodes. 

And one last little reminder, if you're looking for a beautiful treat for yourself or someone that really means a lot to you, check out Pebble Bellies on pebblebellies. com or kateshepardcreative. com or also head over to lovemorningmoon. com to check out some of my nature inspired jewelry.

I think when you're hearing this episode, there's still time to place orders to arrive before the holidays. So just put that little bug in your ear. Thank you so much for being here and for supporting the creative genius podcast for cultivating a sense of curiosity about your own creativity. You're part of something that's really important. 

This work that we're doing to cultivate this invisible intelligence that lives inside of us is the thing that's going to stop humanity from glitching. And this growing community of creative souls that you belong to is here for you and grateful for you as am I. I'm grateful that you're here. So until next time, keep creating, keep finding joy and keep stewarding that inner voice of your own creativity into the world.

 

We need you.